Getting Old
Jokes although they are probably not as funny the older you get. But at least if
they raise a smile you know you are doing ok.
An elderly
gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the
doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids
that allowed him to hear 100%
The elderly
gent went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is
perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The
gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and
listen to the conversations. I've already changed my will three times!'
Two elderly
gentlemen Jim and Eddie were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to
the other and says:
Eddie asks, ‘I’m
83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my
age so how do you feel?'’
Jim replies,
'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
Eddie
replies, 'Really! Like a newborn baby!?'
Jim laughs, 'Yes.
No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
Hospital
regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while
working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and
sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my
help to leave the hospital.
After a chat
about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way
down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't
know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her
hospital gown.'
Couple in
their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup,
the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to
start writing things down to help them remember..
Later that
night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything
while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you
get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.’
'Don't you
think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can
remember it.'
'Well, I'd
like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not
to forget it?'
He says, 'I
can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also
like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated,
he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with
strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he
toddles off into the kitchen.. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from
the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the
plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast?’
