26th March 2008

Grey murky day with light pervading rain throughout most of it. But despite the weather the whole world is moving further into spring. Each morning the yard is alive with Robins, Chaffinches, Mistle Thrush, Blackbird and the ever friendlier squirrels. They are fast losing any sense of fear and gambol along the walls with their tails twitching or sit looking into the room with those sharp, wise eyes. In another place they’d be a pest but here they can bring only joy. I think part of the reason for the loss of fear amongst the wildlife is the dwindling number of cats and dogs around. People generally keep fewer pets these days. Just another facet of a rapidly changing society.

Hope you enjoyed the pictures from the other day...isn’t Lancashire beautiful in places. People living in these areas of outstanding beauty are really so very lucky. Apart from the scenery I think one of the real blessings would be the peace and quiet of a rural location. I might get a good night’s sleep then and I could have another dog. Have a good day.

Happy Easter hope you enjoy these pictures from the lake yesterday morning. We had a heavy fall of snow overnight. It didn’t last long but long enough to make everything look so clean and fresh. The tree decorators have been out and about around the lake and decorated a holly bush with fluffy chicks and decorated eggs. Nice touch and brightens the walk.

Happy Easter hope you enjoy these pictures from the Trough of Bowland taken on Saturday. I think they capture how spring is beginning to colour the land.

Wed 19th March 2008

Bought a little cart at the diy store last night, as I am going to move some plants from the yard to the main garden over the Easter weekend. They are quite large so carrying them is a bit of a no brainer. I carried a small tree fern up the other week but it nearly killed me. 20 years ago I could have probably done it but not anymore. I think the weather forecast is not very good for the weekend but this year we are having an early Easter. Let’s have one more snowy photo (not mine) before spring really gets a grip. I doubt we’ll be seeing any scenes like this for again this year.

World economy is not looking good. But we’ll see what happens. I really want to bang on about unbridled greed etc but it is too early in the morning. We’ll save that for another time.

Have a good day.

18th March 2008

What is this? It is spring and its vistas gilded echoing the sunshine pouring over a day that rises ever more early. It is the rapturous avian sounds that begin in the heart of holly bushes and finish at dusk on the chimney tops. It is the scents of nectar, of pine, spruce and cedar borne on the wind. Its aroma challenges every sense for the world awakens and I awake to witness one more spring.

14th Mar 2008(5am)

Just one week to Good Friday...can’t wait for the day off. Hope the weather is fine, dry and warm. I might get some planting done then. I went up the other night to finish off the planting of some box bushes all around the plot where the animals are asleep. While I was up there I disturbed a pheasant in one of the pine trees. Boy, what a racket it made as it flew away. For birds that get shot so often you’d think they would have learned to be a little quieter.

At work I have been editing the new internal website and typing up the new employee handbook. That has kept me busy most of the week. Work is doing well despite all the gloom in the air. Apart from the rising food prices and houses for sale everywhere, all else seems about the same. Perhaps it is the quiet before the storm.

Made some bread in my new oven....not bad; but better in the old one! Guess I have to spend another 20 years now learning its foibles.

Hope you’re keeping well and have a great weekend

On a March evening setting fast into the west

The sun sets its sail and the moon seeks rest

For the wind so stilled throughout the day

Returns tonight to wreak what havoc it may

To vibrate the windows like the buzzing bees

To shake the birds loose from the naked trees

For me I am content in a soft warm bed

To dream of spring; let the world out of my head

To save the warmth for the next new day

To sleep now and in dreams find my way

25 stars and 1 white tree counted in an evening sky. As the light flies from the world, I awake into nowhere. To remain nocturnal and ever inhabiting the shadows of a memory filled with long bright days concealing eternity. Now 25 stars and 1 white tree shall guide me through this night back into spring.

Monday 10th Mar 2008

There has been a lot of very windy and wet weather forecast today but little of it has materialised here in the north of the UK. In fact it seemed windier at Blackpool yesterday morning when Nick and I went to see the ship that has overturned on the beach at Bispham. The ship is not very large but it was strange to see it keeled over in the water.

If you’ve got good eyes you can see someone has got bandaged fingers from a ‘run in’ with a meat slicer at work. Took the ends of his fingers off but they managed to stitch them back on. Hopefully it should all fuse back in one piece. I spent Saturday morning with him at the hospital. He’s a silly-billy but it could have been much worse. This catering is a dangerous business.

Less than 2 weeks till Easter now.

Thursday 6th Mar 2008

Weather has reverted to mild once again with days of rain to cool the weekend. I put a picture on here of the frogspawn in the pond the other day. Probably can’t see it very well, but there is about a solid patch of spawn 48 x 48 inches so they must have been pretty numerous. I never actually saw a frog this year but in past years have counted in excess of 30. It’s quite an eerie experience to sit in the sun and listen to the soft croaking of bullfrogs. Doesn’t work get thin way (Lancashire for in the) of things? But at least now I am driving there and back in the light.

I can’t believe it is Easter in a couple of weeks and the clocks will be moving to BST (British Summer Time) then hopefully I can do a bit of work in the evenings. Got to start doing some exercise so anything will be welcome. (Pizza presses, wine glass lifts...) Need to shift Ptolemy’s belly.

See the democratic nomination is going right to the wire. Hope Hilary wins because I think she is the better candidate and it’s time to see if a woman can do it better. Whoever gets through I think the political landscape of the US will change forever. Just as it is everywhere else.

Went to the dentist yesterday and he repaired my broken tooth. He drilled without anaesthetic too...bet they wouldn’t dare do that in the US for fear of a lawsuit. Ah the good old NHS (and it cost $86), so don’t believe all healthcare is free here. Well not in England anyway...
Come on weekend

The spider strolls along the wall to the edge of her known world and falls into the void. An unceremonious tangled landing awaits and bemused she gathers her limbs, raises her body and slinks with tentative guile across the living room floor. How many possibilities for tragedy must be present in her exploration? She is braver than I, for she explores her world even though it is fraught with danger and I wonder is it because of her lack of understanding or in spite of it? Is it possible that we hinder growth by knowledge?

We had a really heavy snowfall overnight. I took a photo of the snowy tree and can compare it with the one I took the day before when the sun was shining. What a contrast! Also one of the view from the garden gate to the garden.

All the snow has gone now but at least I captured it before it vanished. Got to visit the dentist tomorrow so I am not looking forward to that but it's necessary.

Hopw you've had a good day.

Below is a history of Hollins Mill where I work. Hope you enjoy it.

History of Hollins Mill

There have been Paper Mills in Darwen since the 1820s. This began at Darwen Old Paper Mill in around 1826 as a small-scale, family-run concern. Richard Hilton began making paper as an expansion of his bleaching business. He and his sons later diversified into making different types of paper including tissue and lining papers in the 1830s. His name is commemorated by Hilton Street which runs alongside the old mill (now Kenleys paper warehouse.) Papermaking required huge amounts of water and was usually supplied by local rivers and reservoirs. Darwen's location and climate made it ideal territory for making paper, just as it was ideal for the textile industry. They used to say that Lancashire people were a special breed of waterproof human and this is probably still the case today. It is one of the wettest parts of the UK. In the case of Darwen Old Paper Mill for example, the River Darwen and Jack’s Key Reservoir would have supplied water. At Hollins our water is obtained from our own reservoir located in Sunnyhurst Woods called the Dingle. Sunnyhurst Woods is probably one of the finest municipal woods in England created with a remit to manufacture a wood but to make it look completely natural. It is well worth a stroll through in any season.

Corn milling was the earliest industry that we know existed on this site and the weir for a water-powered mill was discovered in the Machine house at Hollins during rebuilding after a fire in the 1920’s. This appeared to have been constructed during the medieval period. The Machine house was originally much lower than it is today and explains why the River Darwen now runs underneath our site. Parts of the mill are today lower than the river that runs through the site. It is rumoured that the lowest point in Darwen is located somewhere in our basement. Some of the stones used in the weir’s construction are now to be found in the mill walls. These were manorial or soke mills which drew tithes and rents for their use. Oat crushing was a major function of these mills, although flour production became increasingly important. A significant change occurred in the 18th century with the introduction of roller milling. A direct consequence of this was the closure of the smaller operations using grinding stones such as the one at Hollins.

Papermaking is a fairly labour intensive process with many different processes. Associated trades sprang up in Darwen including bleaching and dyeing works and the newly emerging wallpaper market. There were mills in Darwen that made the paper for the wallpaper market and the largest of these was Hollins but some the mills in Darwen also made other types of paper. Mills produced paper such as newsprint, tissue, coloured and enamel papers, linings, brown paper and wallpaper base paper. The raw materials required for papermaking were originally rags and esparto (a rough grass from Spain and North Africa needed to make fine quality paper). This was the origin of the “rag and bone man” who trod the cobbles up to the seventies in Lancashire towns. He would collect rags for paper and bones for glue. Today papers are mostly made from recycled fibre, wood pulp or synthetic pulp. Only very fine 'hand-made' papers are today made from rags. Collins Paper Mill in Darwen mainly produced brown paper made from rags whilst Grimshaw Bridge Paper Mill produced cap and biscuit papers. Mills then were powered mainly by water wheels and horizontal engines. A list of paper mills from the period would perhaps have half a dozen manufacturers

Darwen paper Mill (Dimmocks)
Collins Paper Mill
Grimshaw Bridge Paper Mil
Over Darwen Paper Mill
Waterside paper Mill
Queens Mill
Hollins Paper Mill

Sadly only Hollins survives to this day (but what a survivor!) This due to a synergy of foresight by St Regis to turn the mill into a 100% recycling mill and the hard work of all of its employees past and present. The part of St Regis cannot be underestimated as without the change to making corrugated box papers the mill would have met its demise a long time ago. What St Regis did was to place Hollins in a unique marketing niche where even all these years later we still sit as the only producers of a 100% recycled white top test in Britain.

Many people were employed in the paper making industry. Hollins Paper Mill originally employed over 250 people. Papermaking, wallpaper and paint were considered to be three of Darwen's staple trades and even today people in Darwen are still employed to make paper, paint and wall coverings for the rest of the world. You could say Darrenners were at the heart of the diy revolution.

Located in Darwen in Lancashire, Hollins is the home of the St Regis presentation liner products, including Optima Silk and Mottle. Hollins is the only supplier of presentation liners in the UK and also manufactures brown test liners and chip, providing excellent support for other machines in the group, as well as Roofing Felt and Wrappings grades from the industrial products portfolio. In total, capacity fast approaches over 100,000 tonnes.

Continued investment has resulted in the mill installing a new environmentally friendly water treatment plant which returns almost drinkable water back to the process to be reused and the most sophisticated stock preparation process for the manufacture of world class presentation liners. The papermachines at Hollins we originally designed to manufacture wallpaper base paper and their maximum widths were

Paper Machines
PM1 2850mm (5 x 22 inch reels in width / 2800mm)
PM2 22900mm. (4 x 22 inch reels in width / 2240mm)

If you’re wondering about the extra 50mm this is taken off during conversion within the mill to give the reels of wound paper a clean edge. Because paper is initially formed in a wet state it is trimmed with high pressure water jets but these leave a rough edge which is later removed,


Hollins Mill
Hollins Road
Darwen
Lancashire
BB3 0BE
Tel: 01254 702 728


St Regis has four paper and board mills throughout the UK with a combined output of almost 1 million tonnes every year. About 70% of sales are accounted for by corrugated case materials, with St Regis clearly established as the leader in this market sector. In addition to the core business, St Regis also manufactures a wide range of specialist papers and boards for both industry and consumers. Through high levels of productivity and innovation, St Regis sets the standard for the rest of the industry.

Over the years, St Regis has maintained high levels of investment at each of its locations and is firmly established in its long-term commitment to the papermaking industry. As a result, St Regis mills are amongst the most advanced anywhere in the world.

St Regis has introduced outstanding papers into the market place. The strategy is to enable customers to improve both quality and cost-efficiency whilst achieving environmental targets. What's more, St Regis technical support services can help customers to generate their own innovative and more cost-effective packaging solutions.

UK packaging waste regulations exert a constant pressure on companies to make more efficient use of packaging and dispose of waste in an environmentally friendly way. St Regis makes a significant contribution to this process, not only by recycling waste but also by creating recycled papers, which can be used as substitutes for paper made from wood fibres.

Customers are demanding greater flexibility and shorter lead times. St Regis is constantly looking for ways to enhance its customer service. New software systems and sophisticated planning techniques are designed to speed up communication and ensure a smooth flow of orders and on-time deliveries. St Regis believes in building long term partnerships with its customers. This approach is not just good commercial sense, it is vital for the future health of the whole industry.

I awaken within the night to a new dawn
From a dream now forgotten reality unfolds
To sleep and to dream is our brief concept
But as the new day calls we can only answer
For tomorrow begins when I open my eyes

There was never much hope...just a fool’s hope
That the skies would open under greenest trees
Reward a life lived in hope with a briefest glimpse
Of what would be missed but now savoured

Still comes the rain and I must wait some more
Take time to now feel the world arising to growth
Watch frogs in amorous union under the falling rain
Wait till the sunshine in May to begin to live again

Tuesday 26th Feb 2008

Can’t believe it is March this Saturday...can you? Our big assessment at work passed off relatively smoothly so I can relax till August till we get another one. It’s going to be a busy year at work though but then it always is.

Weather at the minute is cool and wet. Gone the long sun filled days of the other week. Still the heavy frost has also gone and I must go and visit the ponds to see if the frogs have been. It used to seem really important that I witnessed the exact day. Probably because I kept a journal of all the changes seen in the garden and could note the variation from year to year. It was so much easier to do when I worked shifts and had time in the mornings and afternoons. I miss that so much. If I could choose now I should work 6am to 2pm or 1pm till 9pm every day. Flexi-time working seems a long, long way off in our company. I don’t think they trust people to do the work on their own and yet I should think we would work harder as we’d be happier.

Just bought a gadget which allows me to connect to the internet from any location there is a mobile phone signal. In theory I can now update my blog during my lunch hour from my laptop. Seemed like a really good idea when I signed up for the 2 year contract but I‘m not so sure now. I’ll give it a go soon. When the days get a Little warmer I can write from the garden....that will be cool.

Have a great day

21.02.2008

Been feeding the birds religiously all week while the temperatures have been below freezing. Because I’m doing it with such regularity the birds seem to attune to when the food is put out and sit on the wall looking through the window. I at first thought it was imagined wishful thinking but it is true. I shall try to get some pictures (and I already have tried) but it is difficult not to scare them away. I’ve been putting out a lot of food each day while the temperatures have been below freezing. Partly to make sure they have enough after the playground bullies (squirrels) have finished. We’ve just come out of a long spell of very cold weather now and it’s back to rain and cloud but much warmer. Should be the ideal weather for the frogs and I expect to see some frogspawn in the ponds very soon. Can you believe it is almost March...no neither can I!

We have a big audit at work this week and because it is my core area of responsibility it has been a little stressful. Luckily there don’t appear to be any major problems and it finishes today. Going to have another attempt at stopping smoking this Saturday along with Nick. Still if the not smoking has faltered the not eating meat is going great. I do find it immensely challenging to vary my diet and find new things to stimulate the taste buds. When I read stories like the huge recall of beef in the US that is going on now I feel I have done the right thing. Sooner or later we’ll all be eating a lot less meat anyway as simple arithmetic will take over and with a rapidly expanding population there simply won’t be enough land to support that number of animals. It’s probably not that far away. The statistics on the number of animals killed globally to feed us is absolutely staggering. It’s a bit like the universe too big to comprehend. Am I banging on...time for a subject change.

My new cooker arrived yesterday. I bought it with my long service award at work. The award is a cash bonus for completing 30 years (now nearly 31). I am not sure about it yet as I really liked my old cooker and had over the last 23 years achieved a symbiosis with it. However it was time for it to go but I shall miss it.

Here’s to a great weekend (whatever you’re doing.)

Lots of contrasts in the weather here at the minute. Gloriously warm sunshine through the day leading to amazing sunsets in the evening and then a bone-chilling frost at night. I took a photo of the sunset last night when I got home from work. The moon is nearly full and as I left work it sat clear and bright in a cloudless blue sky. I shall try to take a photo of it tonight. the moon is so difficult to photograph well.

The birds are having a tough time of it but I feed them every day now just to make sure that they haven’t any problems. Perhaps they become dependent on the food but then it is even more important to continue to do it.

I removed the Amy Winehouse video because it has been pulled off the YouTube site for some reason. Shame.

Enjoy the pictures from the drive Nick and I did on Saturday from Skipton to Kendal. Love the long horned cow and all the stone walls and it was such a beautiful sunny day. Weather is set to stay sunny for most of the week with -5 temperatures at night. (It was -7 last night.) I don’t hold out much hope for the olive staying green but it may re-grow later.

Have a look at the link below from the Independent. I haven't watched the videos and probably best not to as they are probably upsetting. But it makes you think. That's got to be good. I shall certainly never buy any of it.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/news/exposed-the-long-cruel-road-to-the-slaughterhouse-781364.html

I miss you when I realise you are like the breeze when it is absent from a summers day. Then the world is still but no music is brought from the world to my ears. You are the music that plays within my life invisibly and when it has stopped the silence overtakes any quiet solitude I may have desired to find. For that is the paradox of love. You only ever miss its siren song when it has gone.

Things are getting close in the democratic camp Hilary

While rantings of the UK bishop from Lambeth plain to see

The eastern worlds shadows of nonsense darkens so much

Because nothing ever changes the ancient wounds to touch

The new year days grow lighter so fast in this second span

It takes all that I am to remember that I should be a man

Tuesday 12th Feb 08

We are having some beautiful weather at the moment with clear blue skies and endless sunshine. It is the fourth consecutive day of this weather and we have one more tomorrow and then all back to normal. Not that it matters at work but the mornings and evenings are pleasant and when I am walking around the mill it is so pleasant. Not that I saw much of it today as I was in a meeting most of the afternoon. I did manage to take some pictures at the weekend though so I’ll put a couple on tonight.

Thursday 07.02.2008

Sorry haven’t written anything for some time...not very consistent of me. Partly it was due to losing the internet connection for around a week. Strange how the modern world works and one has to ring somebody in India to get things put right. Boy are these foreign call centres infuriating. It seems a crazy way to run a business. Claudia Winkleman wrote a very funny piece about it in the Independent yesterday. I’ll try to find it online. Got it...read it please

http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/claudia-winkleman/claudia-winkleman-take-it-from-me-778469.html

Elsewhere all the signs of the coming spring are manifesting themselves a little more each coming day. I especially enjoy the expanding brightness of the evening and morning. Coming home from work in daylight is uplifting and there is months of it to come. I always imagine at this time of the year what it would be like not to have to go to work again till October. Every day spent watching the world and making peace with it all. Nice dream. I also miss Jenny at this time of year because we would begin to walk around the lake towards the end of February. We could go and make it back before it got too dark.

I haven’t been up too very much over the last few weeks. Work is busy but I did buy a relatively cheap electric piano and have been reading a teach yourself book. My mind is full of crotchets and quavers...it’s all so complicated at first. I would like to be able to play some music though so we’ll se how it goes.

Hope you’re well and it’s getting a little warmer. Take Care

Tuesday 22nd Jan 2008

The rain has abated for a time bringing a clear and cool day, which just happens to coincide with turning down the thermostat on the radiator. I’ll resist the temptation to turn it back on because I sleep better in a cool room. Tonight I’m listening to Donna Summer (vinyl of course) and wondering why.

Not looking good on the worlds money markets at the minute...so just as well that I haven’t got any. It’s hard not to think that somewhere there is a cabal that decides all these things are going to happen this way.

I’m busy at work at the minute as we have some important assessments coming soon and everything is half finished. Poor old Amy is in the paper for some drug related thing. She’s dyed her hair blonde, become more anorexic and looks absolutely dreadful. She’s either very, very clever or not long for this world.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7202310.stm

I just bought the entire series of Deep Space Nine on e-bay. Think it is because they have been showing re-runs on TV and I realised how much I enjoyed it all. Wonder why I like sci-fi so much? Answers on a psychiatric evaluation on a postcard please.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep_Space_Nine

Just listening to the Mike and the Mechanics song ‘The Living Years’. Just turned the Garrard 401 on and spun the vinyl and it sounds fabulous through the Tannoys. I can smell that old vintage aroma the equipment has. It’s been a miserable day with more or less constant rain and wind. Lots of areas in Britain are on flood alert (some area even flooded) including the Ribble valley where the aptly named river Ribble has burst its banks in several villages. I am not a big believer in global warming but something isn’t right. Even if the weather proves to be just a blip in the long span of the world then the world of man seems to be entering a phase of great change.

Everywhere we look it’s all coming apart.

While some make millions on worthless art

I take a new look around and begin to see

The de-evolution of man began recently to me

15th Jan 2008

Haven’t posted very much lately sorry. I keep meaning to write stuff on my lunch break but always feel guilty. It’s been rather quiet and the weather has been mostly windy and wet. Well apart from one morning last week when I awoke to a heavy fall of snow. It was so amazingly unexpected and I just had to take a picture. Which is just as well as it didn’t last more than a couple of hours. On my way to work I head downhill and it was like travelling through different seasons. By the time I had got to work it was like being in a different country.

Work is quite busy at the moment but has different less enjoyable dynamic...hard to explain. The forecast is for a rocky financial year ahead with rising food and energy costs. Quite sure a lot of industry will be hit by at some stage. Not that there is much industry to hit around here anymore.

Still good things I have done include still feeding the birds and not buying any meat. Smoking well that’s a sad failed affair but I am resolute in determination...I think. Nick has managed to stay stopped though so well done. Hope you’re well and warm and that snow is not too deep in Pa.

Thur 3rd Jan 2008

It must have been much colder last night as the bird food was frozen solid in the bowl. Luckily it is still dark so I can defrost it before the birds are up and singing. I would think there would be more shivering than singing this morning. Even now after all these years it never ceases to amaze me that these creatures spend the nights outside in the fiercest of conditions. Animals and insects make nests and burrows but a bird is basically exposed to everything the weather can bring. Sure it can sit within a tree but even there it can’t escape the elements.

Right now there is a battle raging between me and Mr Nicotine. He hammers away within my cranium and I for my part try to ignore him. He tries to show me a world of calm that would exist if only I would get some cigarettes. Yet his lie is apparent as I breathe deeper once again. He is losing the battle and that seems to make him hammer away all the more. Despite all my rants on health fascism etc, I do realise they are right. Smoking is bad!

There was a promise of snow but only briefly did any flakes fall from the leaden sky. Far too few to cover all the dirty pavements and roads with a thin dusting of white. I would have liked that. We haven’t had any snow for the longest time.

Enjoy the picture of Nick feeding geese and ducks New Years Eve at the lake.

I’m just having a quiet moment at work waiting for some data to load and am wondering what this year will bring. A pair of clean lungs and a heightened sense of taste and smell will be good. Will I finish the year healthier,richer and wiser. Probably not, but I can keep trying. Life, (in whatever shape it takes for each of us,) is I think more a matter of continuing to move (regardless of the direction one is actually carried in) for it seems we only become truly lost when we stop and begin to question things. So I guess for me I shall be losing my way a few times over the coming year ahead. Is that one of the enigmas of life do you think? That the more we try to understand why we have been given such a brief and painful existence the briefer and more painful it becomes. Who knows?
Watched some great programmes on Sky HD over the holiday. Some of the natural history programmes are absolutely breathtaking. I would never have believed a few years ago that we would be able to watch such sharp images on a TV. Where will it stop I wonder? At some point the resolution of new equipment will exceed our very own eyes capability to see it and will there be any point in going further. At some stage we must have to say that we have bettered our perception of perfection and that has huge ramifications for so many things we now take as mystical.

Hope you enjoy the 2 pictures...went for a few walks around the lake over the holiday and around thirty of the small trees along the path have been decorated with baubles and tinsel. It looks both surreal and yet strangely beautiful. The other is of the stream that enters the lake just to show what a mild weather spell we have had. Back to work tomorrow and the weather is forecast to grow quite cold with a hint of snow. I would like to see some snow as we haven’t had any yet this Winter. Hope you had a good holiday.

Christmas falls away so swiftly and soon are forgotten all the things that were so eagerly awaited. Now arrives the New Year and with it sincere pledges that I would hope are all kept. For a better world is created not by wishes but by our deeds.

Christmas takes hold of me even though I try to loosen its grip. For it seems to be healthy that we have one time each year when we are able to recant our failings, forgive each other and move forward promising to do better.

For me that means living a little healthier and I am only sorry it has taken too long. By healthy I mean both body and mind. For I think we cannot have one without the other. Merry Christmas.

18th Dec 2007

Something a little lighter tonight I think. 4 new photos from the last week or so. The giant Santa outside Manchester town hall, the bare snakelike path of the flood water than ran down the garden hillside, the growth on the Monkey Puzzle tree and perhaps the saddest Christmas tree ever...and it was decorated by members of the sisterhood. They should be thrown out of the club if you ask me.

Mon 17th Dec 2007

In case you’re wondering what that’s all about it was a video I watched on the fur trade the other day. I don’t think I have ever been so down and could hardly sleep during the night. It was like a brief glimpse of hell. But it has made my mind up to become a vegetarian again. No more sophistry...no more lies to justify eating meat. I need to be a better person.

The world grew ever darker the other day
So dark that it may never lighten completely
How can we endure the hurt others inflict?
Not on us, but the innocents of the world
How can we fight past that pain and anger?
And how may we win against mediaeval texts?
Where to err is human and to slaughter divine
I cannot stop this madness, but from tomorrow
No sentient being shall die in my name again
I should die myself than remain silent witness
For what monsters take an innocent life’s skin
While it lives before and remains screaming after
And I now see that they are but a reflection
In the ghastly cracked mirror of our evolution
For it is you and I that make them what they are
For we do create the greatest hurts of them all
When we remain silent to it and tell no-one

If you awaken in the depth of the night

Attune your mind to solitude’s dark calm

And then question everything around you

Who are you and why are you here now?

What is the reason we exist in this time?

No answers shall come that give revelation

But the answers that do come in earnest

Shall be always less than the questions we asked

I took a sound from the repository of memories and revelled in its depth of sensation. The years do not dim nor do the seasons dull the rise and fall of a soprano voice. Clear and sharp as a winter frost it pierces consciousness to invade a realm of deepest calm. As a shaft of sunlight that lies on a hoar frost it is both a catalyst and a pointer toward things unlooked for that is a benison and more than we should ever deserve to experience. For beauty warms a cool soul into being.

Slow falls the hand of sleep, as I lie wrapped in the warmth of wings that shall fly no more. In the void between the transition to nightly oblivion comes softly the wonder of the path that leads my life here this night.

Here in the fastness of night, the wind howls down from the hills and enters the room carrying the scents of a nocturnal world. I smell the owl and the fox and the warmth of the rich, moist earth at the badger’s set. It sirs within and I must rise for they call me.

The view out the window is quite bright from the full moon. Would it be ridiculous to get dressed and go off exploring by the light of the moon? Following silvered paths under tall black branches that shiver and exhale with the breeze to stumble into secret places.

As a child one hears stories of fairies and the night reverberates the stories around my mind and whispers that sometimes there is a kind of magic we can touch. I feel that if I walked long and quiet enough through the drifts of leaves I would eventually witness that magic. Be it a fairy gathering or a wonder of nature’s nocturnal creatures. One night soon I shall take this walk into the moonlit night but not just yet.

For throughout all this I sense you and know you would come with me on this adventure and I wait for you to arrive. For though I no longer believe in fairies I have always believed in someone like you.

Wednesday 12th Dec 2007

Tonight I am listening to the CD ‘Symphonic Canzonas’ by Sigfrid Karg-Elert which is works for organ, violin and soprano...in a word it is ‘superb’. Plus it’s much cheaper to buy on-line too. However it is nice to buy from a real store as they do provide a good service and it will be a poorer world when all the specialists have gone. Have a look here. The music is enchanting...how could you convince a rapper or rocker of its worth though?

The weather at the minute is cool and sunny. Been hearing of the ice-storms that are affecting the US at the moment and they sound pretty harsh. I guess we are lucky here to have such an even (if grey,) weather pattern.

The snow if it comes shall be brief and shallow ultimately dissolving into days of warmer disposition. Yet even now I see the change as the diminutive trailing hazel catkins stretch downward. The life essence of nature is not ruled by a clock, only the rise and fall of the seasons and the days that fall within them.

Nick told me off last night for the poem as he said it was a little suicidal but it was a play on global warming. Got your card and gifts today Scott so thanks for that so very much. As ever the consummate books...thank-you! Hope the weather is a little better in Pa.

http://www.lammas.co.uk/canzon.htm

Winter now descends toward anarchy

Any semblance of the old order lost

Gone the long, hard frost of yesteryear

Yet still remains the cold, ceaseless rain

Drenching fluids across the sodden vistas

Onto a misty backdrop of constant daylight

That rises and falls across the years seasons

Intense or occluded regardless of Earth’s orbit

Constant in its equal measures of uncertainty

Thurs 6th Dec 2007

A few more pictures from the recent holiday. I didn’t take many more than that sorry. One of the dunes and a picture of David, Ray, Mike and me in Maspalomas and a sunset from the balcony. Off to the Imax on Saturday to see Beowulf in Manchester with Nick and a whizz around the Christmas markets in the town square. I really want to see the film Golden Compass too at some point over December.

Gran Canaria Nov 2007

Arrived at Las Palmas at sunset and by the time we’d got to the hotel it was dark with a huge full moon. Quickly had dinner and took a stroll down the promenade. Every now and then the moon breaks free of the clouds and shines its silvery white light across the sand dunes revealing what looked like a tropical snowscape and highlighting the waves breaking far out to sea.

Sunday started cloudy but then it all vanished and so we walked to the beach where after an hour of glorious sun the heavy, dense clouds returned making everyone rush to put on shirts. Decided to head back to the hotel and sleep for a few hours.

Monday had a great night’s sleep and though awake at 6.30am feel much more refreshed today although have a pretty bad head...feels like my sinuses are blocked. Still very little cloud this morning but after a hearty breakfast of 2 eggs, toast and teas. By 10.30 we were off to the beach (which takes an hour to walk to by the way!)

Tuesday and finally a little colour is beginning to show. It’s amazing the transformation a couple of days can make. This is another hot and sunny day but as were heading home around 4pm a huge wind blew up scattering sand and people everywhere. In the evening after dinner watched a “Diana Ross and the Supremes” tribute ban from South Africa who were actually excellent. Seem to be developing a cold as I have a slight sore throat and cough...hope it doesn’t get any worse.

Wednesday didn’t sleep very well at all and woke up feeling terrible. Definitely got a cold but keep trying to overcome it with mind power but in the end gave up and took 2 aspirin (which helped.) another sunny day and met David and Ray (2 friends from home) on the beach. The day before they were telling us a boatload of Africans arrived on the beach in a motor-less boat at around 5pm which saw the beach swarming with police. Went for a couple of beers in a German bar after the beach...which was best described as interesting. Nice people and so friendly once they have some beer. Had some Frikadellen but don’t think I shall be having any more. Don’t know if it was the beer or the cold but felt ill by the time I got back to hotel and only managed a bowl of soup for dinner. Fell asleep at 9pm and didn’t wake till 6.30am the following morning and that was one of the best night’s sleep in a long time.

Thursday Browner and calmer and who would think I could be sat outside on a balcony in my shorts watching the sunrise...in November. Following a pattern now of breakfast, beach, dinner and bed. However not much sun today and even some drops of rain. The view to the mountains obscured by huge, black, brooding clouds and all headed this way. I think we been on the beach for around 20 mins before the sun vanished (never to be seen again that day.) everyone tries to wait but two-by-two slowly the beach empties and then there is no one. I wonder where they all go to? Still nice to walk back in the shade and have afternoon coffee and cake at the “cafe De Paris” in the Yumbo centre. I bought a pair of bright canary yellow trunks for the Australia holiday in 2009. Very racy and nothing left to the imagination (unless it is to wonder where the rest of it is hidden.) The beach is full of people nude bathing with everything trimmed and shaved and forever constantly fiddling to enhance their attributes.
It’s now 5.30pm and I am sat on the balcony with a cup of tea (never mind diamonds, a travel kettle is your best friend!) going to eat early tonight and then stroll down the prom and take some pictures. It is the last full day here tomorrow...where has the time gone? But for now I shall enjoy the sunset and the smell of food wafting up from the restaurant and read my hi-fi magazine. It has the most amazing picture of Tannoy Westminster’s in. I’ll try and find a picture of the magnificent beauties.

Friday and feel like spending the day in bed and oh yes, my voice has now disappeared completely. Still you can keep me from the beach but after the walk all we got was cloud and wind and some more rain. Left about 3pm and had coffee and cake and a walk around the shops in Maspalomas. There is a lot of new building work around here and the whole area looks quite stylish.

Saturday grabbed a few hours on the beach and then began the long trek home. I have to say the highlight was travelling back from the resort to the airport on the coach with a crazy Scotsman singing

Finally arrived back home at 3am Sunday morning. I wrote some prose on holiday and i'll type this later. hope you're well.

3rd Dec 2007

Back from holiday and completed my first day back at work. I kept a diary on holiday so I shall be typing it up this week and posting it...hope you are well. Enjoy the first picture

It'll be quiet for the next few days..well one week to be exact as I am off to the Canaries for some sunshine. But i'll take lots of photos and bore you senseless with it all when I get back.

Have a wonderfiul week

For the echo of a wind stirs a memory within the flesh that waits for your touch as slowly unfurls the great map of the heavens when night falls upon the Earth. Like some cosmic jigsaw puzzle, little pieces of a greater purpose are revealed. Some nights the pieces shall never fit and we may grow frustrated with the vision yet within all remains the memory keeping us true to all we aspired and became. Vessels of eternity filling fast with all the love we may safely bear, and still live, never to overrun, for within our heavenly touches all is everlasting and infinite. Come soon my love and take a look at the stars with me, for they belong to us, we both belong to the ages that take us to tomorrow and always to each other. We are birthed in love and honour and truth, for hearts and minds will always find a way through the time and space, to give joy and comfort to those who would see the beauty and peace within the soul that somehow slipped away in ages past from the other and at last returns through the lonely fog of aeons. Never to be lost again for the map of the heavens shall never now slip my grasp. You are here and my world is complete and I shall never let go for love is ours

For it is the words that are not said
That grows about us rising taller than trees
So if I think it, I must then say it
Whether the world should listen or turn away
Tonight drags me down fast to the safe
Needed repair of deepest sleep and yet,
The heart claws and hungers still
For the last, sweet, gasp of air remaining
So that with my last thoughts and actions
I hurl the words I need you to hear,
Toward you, that you may as your eyes close
Know how I love you tomorrow
So come the day and release me from sleep
That I may know my heart is waiting
To give all of its sweetness to the one
I call my own for the hours shall rush by
Like the raging tides that flood inland
And then disappear back to the sea

I had the strangest dream last night but I think it was because I was watching a programme on the sun before going to be on the history channel. Apparently the photons that emanate from the sun’s core and reach us as light take thousands of years to pass to the surface of the sun and then only minutes to reach the earth once they are in the vacuum of space. The sunlight I shall be bathing in next week is older than I am.

It all really seems to be so perfect the way life has originated and our understanding of the universe. We tend to think we are big players in the cosmos but what if we’re among the smallest of all life. A small life form on a small planet that can never develop the potential to expand and understand what is beyond the edge of the known universe. We are mapping the genome, constructing theories on astral physics and searching for dark matter. But what if...we were designed to do that? Unknowing participants in a huge interstellar process. Masters of a destiny that can never come to pass, because we were not given the intellect and capacity to ever get beyond a certain point in our existence. Make you think! I’ll go bake some more bread.

Worlds in a grain of sand

Spread through the cosmos

Watched by those that

Manipulate our destiny

Ok so I didn't make the jam or butter....but one day!

19th Nov 2007

It’s the week of birthdays with 2 just gone and one more to come. All the special people have birthdays in November....I’ll try to prove it. (Nope, got that wrong but here is what I managed to find out.)

November 18th in History1626: In Rome, St Peter's Church is consecrated1963: The Bell telephone company introduces the first push button telephones in the United States.

November 22nd in History1963: Lyndon B Johnson sworn in as 35th President of America just hours after the assassination of President Kennedy1975: King Juan Carlos II was sworn in as head of state just two days after the death of Spanish dictator General Franco

Still that’s Monday out of the way now and soon be off to sunnier climes for 1 week. Then that’s it till next year. Mike turns 60 next year and wants to go to Las Vegas. Then in the early part of 2009 Nick and I are going to go to Australia and New Zealand for 3 weeks. So definitely I have a few very good things to look forward to. Tonight I have been looking over my 70’s wardrobe and muttering “what was I thinking!” Also baked some bread which I am going to photograph and post it so you can imagine a nice thick, crusty slice with butter and cheese or perhaps a bramble jelly...yummy very nice.

Have a lovely evening

Coldness comes and touches the soul
To contract its warmth and reveal
What may hide in cool chambers?
I have none so dark, but if I did?
Perhaps winter is made for secrets
When drapes are fast shut at windows
Looking out on the fastness of night
Enveloping now so much of the days

A whisper that you cannot hear
Is spoken the same time each year
It enters the mind and plants a seed
That will grow so swiftly within a ...
Fertile and deep, yet innocent furrow
Growing swift and sure in a foundation
Where this world has not yet begun
To shower its discord and arrest the...
Development of such beautiful minds
That is the wonder of all of you
Happy birthday beautiful people

Found this site

http://www.padutchcountry.com/

You've probably seen it....

Tonight I am having ratatouille ‘a la Nick’ with cabbage leaves stuffed with meatballs. Ok, so its leftover meatballs and 4 cabbage leaves but it sounds good. Wednesday tomorrow again so soon and then we’ll be halfway through the week.

The Harry Potter was ok but not very exciting...methinks that they are probably getting a little old for the genre now. All square jaws and desperately being made to look like teenagers still at school. Should have stuck with Amy last night. Still this is a good site

http://www.harrypotterorderofthephoenix.com/

The growth in the estate of a man
Takes form through magical drama
It drives away the child’s eye
As the age of innocence retreats
The qualities of the man reveal

Mon 12th Nov 2007

Haven’t written anything on here for a few days, so apologies but I had a nice weekend. It’s quite cold here at the minute...in fact there was a heavy frost on the car this morning. I’ve just bought the new Harry Potter film “The Order of the Phoenix,” I always swear I won’t, but then just a kid at heart I guess. It was either that or the new Amy Winehouse DVD but I am in a chill mood really and Amy is a little hectic. I’m going to make this short and have a look at some holiday cottages in Devon for next year. So hope you’re indoors and warm and having a good evening.

Golden leaves that fell dry now crack and collapse underfoot into the damp ground. Discarded firework casings litter the path and remind me that the beauty seen in the night sky a few days ago comes at a price. The sun is up but veiled behind dense clouds and the air still and heavy with a cold, moist edge cuts through clothing. It is the time of the year when nothing ever dries till a long frost claws back all the moisture and deposits it like silver gilt on the ground

A blade of light births into the night sky and draws a crescent trail of sparks that wither in the blackness. For a moment a chill is felt and the evening air cools eager eyes looking into space. Then a rose erupts and shimmers incandescent as its red petals spread outward in symmetry of radial pyrotechnics. Before we have a chance to savour this, the whole sky becomes alive with blooms that open, flower and fall in seconds and then all stills to leave the stars scattered overhead in the clear sky like astral pollen.

A soft sun sets sail across a deep sky as an autumnal galleon to circumnavigate the northern half of the world. That is how I see it as I tread across a russet path laid down from the lack of warmth. For as this galleon of lessening light sinks into winter so the trees jettison their summer cargo. Leaves, once the sails that had unfurled and set before fair winds shred and fall, leaving the squirrels visible in the timber rigging like marauding pirates. For me the joy is always in the leaves underfoot, the clear and cool days and the sound of water. Ever it has been the same in November.

Sunday 04.11.2007

Been out taking photos this afternoon. I took a walk around all the local paths I used to follow when I walked the dogs. I’d forgotten how amazing it is so close to where I live. It has been a cool but sunny day and the smell of wood smoke is still in the air from the numerous Guy Fawkes bonfires lit last night. Bonfire night falls tomorrow so most were lit early. Last night was an explosion of sounds and colours as hundreds of fireworks lit up the night sky. I sat in the garden watching for a little while.

The first one is of a beech tree with lots of strange growths on it.

The second is of a huge tree growing straight out of a grave

The third is the sky

The fourth is another sky shot

The fifth is the thick carpet of beech leaves across all the paths.

Hope you had a good day and a relaxing weekend.