“If only everything in life were as reliable as a Volkswagen”
Trilled the ads on TV but if it were true then I am afraid that I…
Should never have prospered or lived long enough to see adulthood
For all I have suffered is inconvenience and regret
That V *** DCW is my worst car yet

“Self defence lessons from Polo so the advert said to me”
Then my good VW Company I would now have to say
I unknowingly shot myself in the foot or the head
70mph on the motorway’s fast lane the engine stalled dead
And if I close my eyes now I can see my life flash past again

Judging you by your car that I bought so little time ago
With the high hope of workmanship and quality service
I now realise that the wonderful three year warranty
Was just there because there must be so many faults
Such as windows don’t work and the garage staff laugh?

For these little episodes humorously break up their day
When the customer suffers and they dont have to pay
No courtesy car is has ever been offered or available
The legendary Volkswagen service is to me only a fable
I am in short dissatisfied and though it sounds extreme
A VW car that worked without fault is to me but a dream

And a dream it shall remain for as long as I am able
My hard-earned money shall never again come to your table
I shall never again buy your smooth, wistful advertising
For life is fleeting and the tarmac world to explore is vast
But in a VW I’m afraid to the end of my drive it wouldn’t last