Saturday, February 09, 2013


A selection of the current jokes on horsemeat being found in beef products.

My doctor has told me to watch what I eat, so I bought a ticket for this year's Grand National.

Since when have Findus been using horse in their Lasagne? Not furlong.

What odds do you get on living a long life now?

The horsemeat scandal - only question is whether it is bull shit or horse shit?

'The Food Standards Agency criticised after admitting it never carried out tests for horse meat contamination'

Question. Why do Food Standards Agency staff never look out the window in the morning?
Answer: ‘Because they wouldn't have anything to do in the afternoon.

I had a Tesco beef and mushroom pie last week. Found three sugar lumps in it... :)

Food standards authority - fetlock of good they are; saddling us with filly steaks!

For heaven’s sake it's good quality - Rosette winning, you might say.

Whoever said you can’t flog a dead horse was soooo wrong

The ‘My little Pony’ toy has new addition ‘My little pony abattoir’

Think if your teenage daughter whinges about mucking her pony out you just threaten to slap it on the barbie.

I won’t be galloping off to Burger King anytime soon

You are what you eat...neigh!!

You are what you eat in Yorkshire...neigh, neigh!!

Why the long faces?

Someone has driven a horse and cart through the food labelling law

This brings a whole new meaning to piebald

This story is getting legs and running without help

Jokes aside though now is not a good time to be eating ready meals or take away food. If the convoluted route of horsemeat entry via South America - Europe - UK is typical of a food chain journey used in these meals then unless further details on this issue are suppressed (and I suspect they might be to avoid fatally harming the UK food industry) get ready for a whole raft of new revelations. better get the chicken jokes ready...they are about to fly
 
No more processed food coming in this house

In doubt of hope now this disregard is laid bare
The base of survival is rotten so I no longer care
We now nurtured by fell meats pedalled by foul greed
Meats of house, of stable, of temple, of coop, of river
To us half food offered and yet give thanks that for now
Tis but the horse that gives its betrayed flesh; not your kin