This is a real story from our local newspaper - no wonder its going out of business. In case you're wondering I haven't edited it at all. This is the entire story. I know its a real story because we saw all the CSI investigators there at the scene working behind the police tape on Sunday. If dishevellment is now a crime could these have been the fashion police then. No facts, no substance, no story - yep sounds like the Lancashire Telegraph.

Mill in Darwen cordoned off after man found

10:43am Monday 12th March 2012 in News

A Man was found in a 'dishevelled' state in an alleyway in Darwen in the early hours of Sunday. Police cordoned off the scene in Bolton Road, near to India Mill, after fears the man could have been sexually assaulted.

Forensic teams attended but after an investigation it was found there had been no sexual assault. A police spokesman said: “Police were called in the early hours of Sunday to reports that a man had been found in a dishevelled state in an alleyway off Bolton Road in Darwen. “An investigation is under way to establish the circumstances of how he came to be in that condition.”